i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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