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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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