I don't think brook has ever known best
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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