So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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