Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
