Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
