Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
