If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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