Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
