Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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