He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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