I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
