I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
