but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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