I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
