im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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