I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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