what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
