he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize