On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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