Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
