I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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