A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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