We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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