i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
