Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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