I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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