Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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