He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
