There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
