i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need to calm my uterus...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
