Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
