Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hippo gnu deer
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize