plz talk dirty to me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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