He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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