brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
