"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
