His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
