Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When are your genitals available?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
