dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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