think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
