So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize