never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
