He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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