No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The uberlube is also flammable
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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