All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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