It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
