Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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