you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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