Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize