I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
