Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
