I'm jealous of your bromance
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
