Small penises have feelings too.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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