Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
