the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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