if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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