Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
