a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
