Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
