he thought i was a dude.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
