i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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