Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
