normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
