This is not my ceiling
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry about my life...
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